deadly_legacy | ✜046 [video]

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✜046 [video]

[The video is a blur of pink and flesh tones when it comes on before Euphie holds the device still again. She was using the old-fashioned, "shake it until it works" method.] Oh! It came on. Good.

My device was working just fine this morning, but a little while ago I was having the hardest time trying to check the network. I hope it's all right now. I'm not even sure where I would take one for repairs.

Sorry for all the shaking, everyone. [She smiles apologetically.]

(OOC: She's just having a poor service issue a la the plot.)

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Her lips part in surprise and her eyes are fixed on him, full of sadness for those people and for Suzaku and Lelouch. Before she can manage words she presses against him, wrapping him up in a hug.

"Suzaku..."

She understands. She understands it better than anyone else could, doesn't she? Taking lives against our will, but still taking them. Doing everything and anything you can to fulfill an order.

And even beyond those lives... She finds herself grieving the fact Suzaku and Lelouch were enemies after her death. She can feel her own pang of guilt for her role in that. She never wanted them at odds. She always thought someday they would work together and do good things. She wanted to believe it. To picture a world where the people she loved most were friends. Where they could all be together.

Quietly, against his shoulder she breathes out. "You wouldn't have chosen that."

Slumps against her for a moment but he doesn't touch her otherwise. All of the memories are pouring back into his head. One minute there was a settlement with 10 million people in it and the next moment it was gone. Just like that. He thought he would be able to bring this up and keep his emotions at bay but he can feel his stomach churn and the guilt is making him feel physically ill.

"Euphy, when you were Geassed you were trying to make peace. I went into battle with a weapon that I knew was deadly. I didn't want to pull the trigger but I went in knowing I had a weapon that could kill countless people.

He looks off to the side and he can feel the same madness that over took him before start to creep along inside of him. While he might not have mastered making himself completely numb, he has learned how to stave that madness off. Looks at her once again and his eyes start to sting as tears threaten to roll out of them.

"So you see, Euphy, the same hands that touch you are the same hands that are responsible for countless deaths."

"You make me sound more noble than I am. I wanted a better life for everyone, but I was selfish too, Suzaku. I wanted that life for myself too. I wanted to be with the people I loved, and I wanted them to be happy and safe." She looks at him with imploring eyes.

"I'm even selfish now because as sad as I am for all those people in the settlement and as much as I wish you and Lelouch never fought and he never put a geass on you," a pause, "I'm also very happy it kept you alive."

There. Now he will know. He'll know just how selfish her own heart is. Maybe then he won't blame himself so much. Or maybe he'll feel differently about her, but if he is brave enough to tel her the truth of things then she owes him the same.

No matter what Euphy says or does, he'll always hold her up on a pedestal. After all, she is literally his princess and his first love. Hearing her confession doesn't make him think any less of her but it does make her more human in his eyes, and knowing she is happy he survived after the FLEIJA tragedy replaces some of the guilt he's feeling with relief and affection.

Doesn't say too much in response to her confession but he does take her hand in his once again and squeezes it tightly. Returns to leaning against her once more.

"As strange as this sounds; we became friends again after that. The two of us along with C.C. went to this place called The World of C. I am still not sure how all of it works but I was told that it is made up of the collective consciousness of the world. Lelouch's mother and father were there and we learned that they wanted to start the world over again so that there would be no more lies. Lelouch heard the collective unconsciousness of the world tell him that's not what the world wanted; they wanted a tomorrow regardless of what that tomorrow might bring."

Suzaku opts once more to keep the details vague. For better or worse, the fallen emperor was also Euphemia's father. Lelouch was more emotionally connected to the situation and her half-brother, it would be better if he was the one who elaborated on Lady Marrianne's and the Emperor's demise.

Suzaku then goes into detail about how they defeated the Emperor, Schniezel becoming the Emperor and taking over control of The Damocles, how he planned to kill over a billion people with FLEIJA warheads equipped on The Damocles and how that decision sealed both of their fates.

"We realized in order to change the world we had to reconstruct it. We could stop Schneizel but someone else would take his place. The world needed to learn that no man or woman should be allowed to become an emperor who is god like. We stopped Schneizel and then Lelouch became emperor. The two of us became so hated that the world united in their hatred."

While they were in power the world became a dreary and terrifying place.

"I faked my own death so I could take on the role of Zero. With everything that happened, the people of the world still needed a beacon of hope. Lelouch in turn realized he needed to sacrifice his own life to inspire the people. I was taken before I completed Zero Requiem, but during visitor day I met with Lelouch. Even though I'm taken here, I end up being successful..."

Suzaku speaks in a more gentle tone when he brings and eludes to Lelouch's death. Runs his thumb over her knuckles and watches her face to see her reaction.

Edited 2011-04-22 01:01 (UTC)

It's a lot to take in even when there are already parts she has heard. Still, the bulk of this is new to her. She feels worn out even from listening to the tale and trying to make sense of it. The World of C? Marianne alive? Her brother, Schniezel, planned to kill so many?

Lelouch and Suzaku had taken all this upon themselves. The two of them against...for...the world?

"Why..." The word sticks in her throat, the topic having left her feeling very vulnerable and emotional even as she tried to maintain some kind of control over herself. "Couldn't he have faked his death too?" Why did it all come at the cost of Lelouch's life and Suzaku's name? Her asking now couldn't change it, but no matter how futile, she can't help but to want to change it in some way. A hopeful beginning isn't enough. The story should have a happy ending too.

"What about Nunnally?" Did she have to lose her brother too? And did she know all this when she was here before? Were they all protecting her then?

Euphie can feel the tears building in her eyes and it isn't long before there is no where else for them to gather and they slide down her cheeks in wet trails.

"Because Lelouch wanted to atone for all of the things that he did. We wanted to make the world a gentler world but we did terrible things to accomplish that goal, Euphy."

As for Nunnally, he can't say for certain what happens to her after Lelouch's death because he's from before then. While he might not know about the future he does know how strong of a person Nunnally is, despite her young age.

"Nunnally will hurt for along time, but she'll also do a lot of good in the world and be able to smile and remember the good times. She's always been the strongest out of all of us".

As soon as he sees tears start to well up in her eyes, his arms go around her and he pulls her in close to him.

"I'm sorry, Euphy. I'm sorry for everything."Not only is he apologizing to her, but in his heart he is apologizing to everyone who suffers because of the long and deadly journey to a more peaceful world. "But I want to believe that this isn't the end for all of us. In the world of C, there's a way to talk to the dead. So if we never see Lelouch or anyone else here again, maybe we'll get to talk to everyone there."

"No...no, you don't have to apologize, Suzaku."

She wraps her arms around him too and presses her face against the juncture where his neck and shoulder meet, and for a time she just holds on and cries quietly. Once she stops she continues to lean heavily against him.

"I want you to be happy." In that world. In this one. She wants so much for Suzaku.

Remains quiet while she cries and he rubs her back with his hand, hoping it will bring her some comfort. He hates seeing her cry and knowing that he is responsible for it, but he also feels a lot less guilty than he did when he first walked into the room. After his conversation on the network, he felt like in some ways he was deceiving her. That she had been kissed with someone who she might see as a monster once she learned of the truth.

But even after she learned the truth she still wanted to be close to him. She still wanted him to be happy and didn't push him away. He felt like he could finally say the words to her that he had been holding back for so many reasons. It felt selfish to tell her just how much he cared for her without letting her know the truth.

"I'm happier than I ever thought I could be, Euphy, because I'm here with you."

Being happy with her didn't cause him to completely change how he felt about himself. He knew he was still a murderer and had done terrible things. But he also realized that being with her and letting her get close to him made him feel human again. Something that the new Zero needed to be. The world needed to recover and have someone they could believe in. If he cut everyone off and forgot how to be empathetic, then he'd let Lelouch down and everyone else who sacrificed so much for peace. He doubted he would remember everything that happened, but he'd been told that some people remembered fragments of their time here. All he needed was a fragment of how he felt when he was with Euphy to continue to feel human back in their world.

"Euphy..." Brings a hand to her face and raises it so she can look at him. "I love you."

She felt her cheeks warm as he spoke and cupped her cheek, but at his last words she thought she might cry again. Hearing that from Suzaku... After everything that's happened. After all the time that's passed. It still felt good to hear. No matter what else has or will happened they had this moment together.

She formed actions before words as she pressed in closer to him, bringing their lips together. It wasn't the first time they kissed since he'd been back, but it still felt powerful. It felt like maybe he could feel the way she felt communicated through just this.

But even still, the words did follow in a slightly breathless fashion.

"I love you, Suzaku Kururugi. All of you." The sweet boy. The brave knight. And, yes, she could love him as the man who killed her brother. She couldn't bring herself to agree with it, but she still believed in his heart and his goodness above all else.

This isn't the first time he's heard the words, but after everything that's happened since he last heard them, it's like he's hearing them again for the first time. The kiss helped carry home the message. When her lips pull way from his, a smile can be found on his lips.

"After everything that's happened, I wasn't sure if I'd ever hear those words again. I told myself I shouldn't expect to hear them or want to hear them. But now that I've heard them, I know I will always carry them around with me."

Their faces are still close to each other, so it's easy enough for him to lean forward and resume their kiss. In between their kisses he murmurs a few words. The words are difficult to make out because they are spoken in a soft, but they sound like something along the lines of "Sometimes this all feels like a dream." But it's better than any dream because while their time together has been anything but perfect, it's real and he's been able to create new memories with her.

He say such sweet things, but it does make her a little sad to think he wasn't sure if he'd ever hear it again. She doesn't want him to be unsure. She's felt that way for so long before his return—not knowing her feelings toward Yuri, Hanna, and Tommy. Even Zuko.

But Suzaku is with her now and for the first time in a long time things feel clear again.

"It's real." She keeps kissing him, trying to assure him with her words and her actions.

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✜046 [video]

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